Something happened in the last few days that really hit a nerve with me.
Then, just a couple of days ago, Jacquelyn was interviewed on the topic of hair-washing for the Huffington Post.
And then, the Today Show in the US got involved.
(You can view their video here, the talk attack on Jacquelyn’s hair starts at 06:40 – but before you watch, read below on why I don’t think you should watch this video in front of your kids.)
Jacquelyn, who was not even present on the show, was absolutely ripped apart by two women that she has never met over the simple fact that she has found an alternative way of washing her hair that works for her. Make sense? No, of course it doesn’t! This is insane.
And it hit a nerve with me for so many reasons. As a no-pooer myself, and a fellow crunchy mama, I was outraged by the stereotyping that happened on national television in the US and in a very dark and gloomy corner of the internet.
But you know what made me more angry and disappointed than anything else? To see two women, two public figures, on daytime television, verbally attacking and bullying another woman. A woman who wasn’t even there to defend herself. They just sat down and ripped into her, casting accusation after accusation towards a woman that they don’t even know. They attacked the natural beauty of a woman that they had seen THREE photos of.
Where, how, why is this okay? You know what, it is not okay. But clearly several people on The Today Show (US) think it is okay. We need to be the ones to show them and to tell them – bullying is not okay.
Kathie-Lee and Hoda, where are your morals? Where is your love and compassion for your fellow women? I get it. It’s all about ratings, right? You’ve got to stir the pot, because scandal and controversy sells. But when you start bullying others, you have gone way too far.
There are so many women in the world struggling with body image issues. So, so many gorgeous women in the world who feel so ugly because society tells them they are. Well, ENOUGH. Just enough. Enough of this body-hate.
If you are going to click through and watch the segment – PLEASE do so without your children around. Our daughters don’t need to see yet another example of body-hate and women mocking other women for their looks and the way they wash their hair. Do we not have enough girls & women with body image issues?! And our sons don’t need to see that it’s okay to speak about women like those anchors speak about Jacquelyn. Do we not have enough boys/men who speak about their ‘bitches’ as though they own them, and as though women are lesser than them, and only to be valued for their looks?
We have enough beautiful faces in the world; we need more beautiful souls.
Now that I’ve said my two cents worth, I’d like to finish with an open letter to Kathie-Lee and Hoda, written by the amazing Leslie of Crunchy Betty. I’d also love, if you feel in any way angry about the treatment of Jacquelyn by these two ‘reporters’, for you to share this post with your friends and family. Let them know that they are all beautiful people. And make sure you head over to the LittleOwlCrunchyMomma blog and facebook page to show Jacquelyn some support. If you’re feeling as ticked off and absolutely disgusted as I am, feel free to tell the Today Show what you think of their appalling ‘journalism’ and lack of compassion for other humans.
Women of the world, you are all beautiful. Please think about the words you use to describe other women, because our words have more of an effect than we sometimes think they will. Love your fellow women, no matter what. And please remember that bullying is never okay. Never.
Dear Kathie Lee and Hoda (but mostly Kathie Lee),
Just … shh.
For a minute. Let me talk. Let someone else talk. Please.
Yesterday, with the exceptional display of journalistic prowess only the two of you can pull off, you publicly shamed a woman. You know, just a little good-natured name calling of a commoner, in between Kathie Lee’s cringe-worthy lyric-forgetting and the best hair evah (EVAH) popular girls circle jerk. No harm, no foul, right?
I get it, girlfriends. I really do get it. You live in a world where you’re plied with products and serums and perfumes and creams made of extracts of baby albino tiger tears mixed with space-aged polymers coated in 200 karat gold. You don’t really know what’s going on *out here* unless your producers shove a bottle of wine and a paper covered in words in front of your face and say, “Don’t think. Just talk.”
I know there’s an in-touch part of you somewhere, it just happens to focus on things like the latest stiletto-wedge-ballet-pump from Jimmy Choo or what Lady Gaga ate for breakfast yesterday morning (extracts of baby albino tiger tears, no doubt).
But out here, ladies, something else is going on. And it’s something your producers won’t hand you a script for (something that would never please the overlord advertisers).
So even though you’re not in touch with it, it does exist. And the beautiful women you made fun of yesterday is a part of it. You can call it “crunchy” (cue Kathie Lee eye roll) or natural or alternative or big bang boopsie. I don’t care. Call it whatever you want, but to look down on it any longer doesn’t fly.
You see, there are thousands of women who have learned one very important thing in the last few years:
We’ve been lied to. We’ve been bamboozled. We’ve been hoodwinked. We’ve been hypnotized by a billion synthetic fragrances slowly stripping us, from the day we’re born, of every shred of the true *natural* humanity we’re a part of.
And because hundreds of women as brave as Jaquelyn Baers of LittleOwlCrunchyMama have spoken out about their no ‘poo lifestyle, we know something you don’t:
Not washing your hair with shampoo doesn’t make you stink. Oh, maybe the first few days are rough, and then any whiff of off-putting smell is gone. It’s gone, and you know why? Because human bodies are designed to work in concert with nature, not battle with it.
We’ve also learned that the stink you cop to having after not washing your hair, Kathie Lee, has more to do with the things that you put IN your body than the things that you put ON your body. A clean diet, more often than not, equals a cleaner smell. And that cleaner smell is quite easy to remove (and be free of), even if you only wash with water.
You can still bathe regularly, Kathie Lee, so you don’t have to worry about smelling like the people “back in the day before shampoo” who only bathed once every few weeks, at most. You can still enjoy other comforts of modern day life. Like, you know, razors and toothbrushes and those little family stick figures you put on your car’s back window. Except not the last part. Please, not those.
I don’t know why I expect more of you, but I do. I expect women in the media to be conscientious about the way they talk about new ideas and, even more so, the way they talk about people. About other women. And, for heaven’s sake, about other women and their relationship with their children.
The disrespect you showed Jacquelyn, simply because she does something you’re not brave enough to learn about, much less try, was nothing short of schoolyard bullying.
I have a friend, you know, who has two girls: ages 5 and 7. And when she caught her children making fun of another kid for having curly hair, do you know what she did? She curled their hair. For a week straight, the girls had curly hair, just so they understood what another person was feeling.
So I know that one of you – I’m guessing Hoda, because she seems to be the bravest of the gang – is going to swallow your pill and do the right thing now. If a 5-year-old and 7-year-old can do it, you can muster up the emotionally responsible fortitude to do it, too.
Don’t wash your hair.
For six weeks.
Do not wash your hair with shampoo. Heck, you could even go the no ‘poo with baking soda and apple cider vinegar route. But either way, no shampoo. For six weeks.
And then come back and talk to us about how awful it is. Then you can talk from an experienced point of view. Then, perhaps, you won’t sit up there on your ultra loud thrones and set the tone for other people to feel like it’s okay to be mean. And many of your viewers were mean. Nasty. Bleh.
Until then, it would be ever so kind if one of you would have a sit down with your producers and schedule a few interviews with women who don’t use shampoo. Get them in your studio. Right next to you. In your face.
So you can smell them. And eat crow.
(I hear it’s delicious this time of year.)
And goodness knows I’m not saying it will work for you. It may not! I mean, let’s be honest, it won’t, because it takes exquisitely detailed spritzing and teasing and coiffing to get you camera ready all the time. But what’s six weeks going to hurt, right? Time flies when you’re a celebrity.
Try it. It’s not like you’ll lose your job – unlike the way you do when you anger the masses by being heartless and snarky.
The worst that can happen is that you’ll stink. The best that can happen is that you’ll gain our respect – and a naturally beautiful head of hair in the process.